Slow Recovery

I talked to my doctor about a week ago about my very slow physical recovery. She consulted the other doctors in the practice and they think that I likely have an allergy to the sutures they used for my episiotomy. They believe that that is what is causing my recovery to be so slow. At this point, she said, I should be totally back to normal, but because of the allergy I'm not back to normal. She said that she can give me a steroid injection at my episiotomy, which should help speed my healing. I have decided to get the shot. My appointment is in three weeks. (They have to order the steroids because they don't normally have them.) I'm really hoping that the steroids will help me finish healing soon. It is nice to know what is probably causing my slow healing. And it's good to know that I'm allergic to those sutures in case I ever need sutures again!

Ben and I are continuing to heal emotionally. I feel like I'm really enjoying life right now. I still have my moments, but overall it's been good. I mentioned in my last post that I have been having a hard time being around or talking to pregnant women or new moms. At the advice of a friend, I have been praying regularly about it and when I'm around those women, I am making it my practice to just pray for them and their babies. It seems so simple, but I've found that very helpful over time. It's not like I felt better right away, but over time it's been helping me to "rejoice with those who rejoice" even as I mourn over my little one. There have been a few times lately where I've realized that being around them hardly phased me at all. I hardly thought about it, and I actually found myself being happy for them. God has really been answering my prayers and gradually healing our hearts! I've still got a way to go, but it's so nice to see God working me through this process.