Update

It's been a little over 9 weeks since Elam's birth. My physical healing is going very slowly. I may have to go back to the doctor next week if my symptoms haven't significantly improved. Soon after Elam's birth, I got three different infections, which could be what has caused my healing to be so slow.

Emotionally, I think I'm having more good days than bad. I'm having a hard time being around all the pregnant women and new moms-- there's so many of them in our church right now! I want to be happy for people and not upset or envious, but I'm having a hard time. But I do feel like God has been speaking into that in the last day or so, and for that I am so grateful. I'm reading a few books on miscarriage/stillbirth/infant death, and they have been helpful. One in particular, called, Losing You Too Soon by Bernadette Keaggy, has been really helpful in seeing how a Christian woman has grown and dealt with life after losing 5 babies. Journaling has also been very helpful for me. I actually wish I had started journaling right after Elam was born, instead of waiting a few weeks.

I know I mentioned this once before on our blog, but it's been a long time so I just want to remind everyone that we are fine to talk about Elam and everything that's been going on. I know people often don't feel like they know what to say or are afraid to bring it up, thinking it will suddenly bring up sad memories. But it won't suddenly bring up sad memories-- I'm probably already thinking about it anyway! And I actually like to talk about it! It's helpful for me. There's no pressure either way-- no one needs to feel like they have to talk about Elam with us, but also no one needs to feel like they need to avoid the subject either.

Thanks for your continued prayers and support!