I passed!

I got a call this morning about my blood work results-- a day early! I passed my glucose tolerance test and all my other blood work looked good (including my iron count). Thanks for praying!

Appointment Today and DiabetesTest

I went to the doctor this morning for my glucose tolerance test and a regular visit with the doctor. I will not get the results of my glucose tolerance test until Wednesday, so unfortunately I don't know yet if I passed. They are doing several other blood tests as well.

My discussion with the doctor was encouraging today. The doctor is hopeful. She feels like Elam is going to carry to term. She's not sure, of course, but that's just her "hunch", she said. That was nice to hear!

I also asked about Elam's development. I had been thinking that because his growth was about 4 weeks behind, all of his development was also 4 weeks behind. But she said it's really only his size that's behind, not the rest of his development. That was also encouraging. I'm glad to know that his eyes will be opening this week or next week!

My next appointment with the doctor is 2 weeks from today. I will also have an ultrasound that week (Jan. 15). Thanks for your continued prayers!

Doctor Appointment Today

I had another doctor appointment today. Elam has a healthy heartbeat at about 145 bpm. I asked several questions, so I learned a lot.

I had heard from a few different sources that when someone carries a baby full-term, they should wait at least six months before trying to get pregnant again. So I asked the doctor about it today. When we first found out about Elam's disorder, the doctor told us that I would need to wait only 2 months before we could try to get pregnant. Today she told me that because I've carried him so far, I will need to wait at least 6 months after a normal delivery or 1 year after a c-section before getting pregnant. She had told us 2 months before because she didn't expect me to carry him very much longer. She reminded me that she just didn't expect him to live this long. Hearing that we need to waiting 6 months to a year was really disappointing for me. We were planning to try to get pregnant again just a couple months after Elam is born, but that can't happen anymore.

I also asked about last week's ultrasound results. The doctor gave me a copy of the ultrasound report. Apparently, Elam's left hand is clubbed (turned toward his elbow). For some reason they didn't tell us that when we had the ultrasound done, but it was on the report. Also, we had found out that Elam was in the frank breech position last week, so I asked the doctor if it appeared that I would need to have a c-section whenever it's time to deliver him. Even though he will be very small, if he doesn't change positions by then, I will likely have to have a c-section. But he's still got plenty of room to change positions by then.

Next week, I have another appointment on Monday to do my glucose-tolerance test and to get my flu shot. Please pray that I haven't developed gestational diabetes. I have been showing some symptoms of it, so I'm not sure what to expect.

We're excited that it looks like Elam will make it to Christmas. Please pray that we will be able to enjoy the holidays and that Elam will continue to do well. And please pray that we will be patient in waiting for God's timing in this whole situation.

Ultrasound Video

We have uploaded Elam's latest ultrasound video on youtube. You can view it at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUPWlWHyF_E. It's not a long video, but you can see his face and a better view of his feet than last time. He's in the frank breech position, so his legs are right in front of his face. That may help you understand what you see a little bit more if you watch it. :)

Ultrasound Today

We had an ultrasound this morning to check on Elam's growth. They did not do an anomaly screening like last time, so we didn't find out about whether some of his birth defects have gotten any better or worse.

We did learn a few things, however. He is now about 4 weeks behind, instead of 3. He now weighs 15 oz. (almost a pound, yay!). He was not in a good position (again!) so it was difficult to see a lot of things. He was actually in the frank breech position (see drawing). His chin looked smaller to me this time, like maybe its growth hasn't been keeping up with the rest of his body. He still wasn't opening up his hands, so we couldn't rule out webbing between his fingers. One of his feet appears to be a clubfoot. The other foot has some problems-- the heel isn't formed quite right.

It was nice to see Elam again, but the ultrasound was pretty short and difficult for me to see from the bed I was in. I'm looking forward to watching the video. We'll be able to watch it and upload it later tonight.

I had expected that Elam had grown more than the ultrasound showed today. I've been gaining weight, feeling his movements so much more, and feeling pretty crowded inside my body. So I was a little surprised and discouraged to see that he was even more behind than he was at our last 2 ultrasounds. But growth is growth, so I'm sure that's why I've been experiencing all those changes.

The ultrasound today didn't show anything that indicated how much longer he will live.
I have another ultrasound scheduled in four weeks. Please continue to pray for his healing. And please pray for us. I'm feeling discouraged about what we learned today, but I want to remember that God's already doing an amazing work in his life-- He's kept his little heart beating strong for so much longer than anyone expected.

I am not going to see my doctor this week, but I thought I'd post an update anyway. We've been doing pretty well. My belly seems to be growing a lot lately. I guess Elam is growing too! His heartbeat has gotten louder and I've felt him kicking more. I think he's kicking a little more regularly now. He's always been moving around (he often "runs" away from me when I'm trying to listen for his heartbeat!), but I've felt some pretty strong kicks lately too. It's been very exciting! We think Ben finally got to feel a kick once this past week.

I have another ultrasound this Thursday. My last ultrasound report said that this next one will be to evaluate his viability and growth. I'm very excited to see Elam again! I'm looking forward to seeing how much he's grown and seeing him more clearly. Please pray that he will be in a good position to see him well, and that we may even hear good news. We'll post the ultrasound, and whatever else we learn while we're there, on Thursday.

God has continued to give us so much grace and peace during this time. His peace has allowed us to really enjoy Elam despite the heartbreaking circumstances. Thank you so much for all your prayers!

Appointment Today

I had an appointment with the doctor today, as usual, but I never got to see the doctor. We waited a long time in the waiting room, and eventually found out that my doctor had to go deliver a baby. We couldn't wait any longer, so I rescheduled for two weeks from today. She told me at my last visit that it was ok to come in every other week if I wanted, since I have my own fetal doppler.
So I listened to his heartbeat when I got home and he's still doing fine!

I have an ultrasound next Thursday (12/18). I am looking forward to it. Hopefully he'll make it that far and we'll get to see him even better this time!

Also, in other news, today is Ben's 25th birthday! Happy birthday, Ben!

24 Weeks Today!

Today I am 24 weeks pregnant! Four weeks ago, the doctor who first told us about Elam's chromosomal disorder told us that she was surprised I had carried him so far. She also said that she would be really surprised if he would make it to 24 weeks... but here he is! He still has a healthy heartbeat. We're really encouraged that he has made it this far.

Emotionally, I have had a very difficult last few days, but making it to the official 24-week mark is definitely encouraging. He's already beaten so many odds!

I've felt Elam kick a few more times since my last post. Tonight it seemed stronger than it has ever been before! Very cool!

Appointment Today

My friend Karen went with me to the doctor today. Elam still has a healthy heartbeat. We both enjoyed listening to it. :)

The doctor and I discussed more about how Elam's delivery would be. I also talked to her about possibly having a C-section if I carried him close to term. If I carried him that far, and I go into normal labor, there's a better chance that he will survive for at least a little while if I have a C-section rather than a normal delivery. That would give us the chance to spend some time with him. Some doctors are not willing to do this because it is a major surgery and there's no guarantee as to how long the baby would survive. But my doctor said that she would be fine to do that if that's what we wanted. She has been very accommodating throughout this experience. I'm very grateful for her!

I have some exciting news to share... I felt Elam move this past Saturday and Sunday!! It was very brief, and it feels a little different than it used to, but I was very excited to feel him again! It was an answer to prayer! I had started feeling the "fluttering" movement when I was about 15 1/2 weeks, but it stopped when I was around 18 weeks. I'm praying that he will continue kicking, and that Ben will get to feel it, too.

Last week was difficult for me emotionally. I would think about little things, like not being able to hold him or feed him, and I would get very sad. But the last few days have been more encouraging. He's had such a strong heartbeat (it was especially loud on Saturday!) and he's been moving more to the point that I can feel it. I'm still not sure if God is going to heal him, but I'm so grateful that He's keeping him strong right now. God is so good and so trustworthy.

Doctor Appointment Today

My mom and I went to the doctor for my weekly visit this morning. Elam still has a healthy heartbeat (about 160 bpm). We got results from my blood work and a karyotype (picture of Elam's chromosomes). We learned more about my blood clotting disorders. I'm still confused about what they are exactly-- I'll have to do more research. One is called PAI-1, which causes me to clot more readily and/or not break down blood clots as quickly as I should. I also have a MTHFR mutation (a type of thrombophilia?), which interferes with my ability to metabolize folic acid. It can lead to a greater risk for heart disease and blood clots. Because I don't metabolize folic acid efficiently, it can lead to birth defects in future pregnancies. The doctor still doesn't think that these will be a problem when I'm not pregnant. It's nice to find these problems now so that I can help prevent them from causing birth defects or miscarriage next time I get pregnant.

We also found out a couple more things about Elam's birth defects. The hole in his heart is in the septum between his ventricles. He also has some calcification in his heart muscle. He seems to have a Dandy-Walker malformation (a defect in his brain). It is also possible that he has webbing between his fingers because he would not open up his hands on the ultrasound. Webbing is typical for triploid babies. I have another ultrasound on December 18, if he makes it that long, to "evaluate viability and growth."

We're still praying for our little one's healing and we're enjoying listening to his heartbeat every day.

Fetal Doppler

We ordered a fetal doppler online on Thursday and it just came in. It's a little ultrasound machine that lets us listen to Elam's heartbeat and measure his heart rate any time we want. It will be very nice to be able to check it every day. It also allows us to record his heartbeat on the computer. It will also be nice to have for future pregnancies.
So we listened to his heartbeat today and it's still going at a healthy rate! Hopefully we'll record it soon and post it here.

Two-Week Update

We have learned a lot about our baby and his disorder over the last two weeks. I am going to the doctor every Monday to listen for the heartbeat and talk to my doctor. She is also monitoring my blood pressure and weight due to an increased risk of toxemia because I'm carrying a triploid baby. So far he has had a healthy heartbeat at each visit.

We decided to name our little one Elam Reuben Joseph. Elam means "hidden", Reuben means "behold, a son", and Joseph means "He will add". I have enjoyed being able to call Elam by his name. After we had a few days to process the news of his disorder, we decided to try to enjoy our son while we still have him. No matter what happens, he is still a person and he'll always be our little boy. So we want to celebrate him. :)

We had another "follow-up" ultrasound yesterday at my request. He has grown about 2 weeks' worth in the last 2 weeks, so he was easier to see. We enjoyed getting to see him again. We got to see him move around a bit and hiccup... very cute! You can see parts of the ultrasound on youtube at this address: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cV0ZbMFhqK8

During the ultrasound, they discovered that Elam does have several birth defects, which are common to babies with chromosomal disorders. He has a very small chin, a hole in his heart, a cyst on the back of his brain, and he's missing one of the bones in each of his pinky fingers. None of these were surprising to hear.

We did hear something else that was surprising, however. They got some of my blood work back and it showed that I have two blood clotting disorders. While these disorders have not likely been the cause of Elam's birth defects, they can cause birth defects and pregnancy loss in future pregnancies. They told us that taking a baby aspirin and extra folic acid every day should prevent those clotting disorders from affecting my future pregnancies or my own health.

As far as how we have been emotionally over the last two weeks, we are doing well. We are heartbroken, but God has given us so much peace. It's so comforting to know He's trustworthy. Throughout this pregnancy, God has taught me so much about trusting Him to be in control, and I'm so thankful for that. It's so freeing to know that He's in control and He can be trusted with every detail of our lives.

We want to thank everyone for their support, hugs, food, time, and encouraging words. We especially want to thank everyone for their prayers, and for spreading the news to others so they could also pray. God has been taking such good care of us through all the people around us and we are so grateful for that.

One last thing. We are comfortable with talking about everything that's going on. I know that in the past, I would never have known what to say to someone who was losing their baby, and I would have probably just avoided talking to them to prevent upsetting them. So I just wanted to say that there's no pressure. We're fine to talk about what's going on. I'd actually prefer talking about it rather than avoiding the subject. But still, there's no pressure either way.

Again, thanks for everything! I'm going to try to keep updating this whenever we learn anything new. Please continue to pray for our family, and especially our little Elam. We love you all!

20-Week Ultrasound

For those who haven't heard, or haven't heard the whole story...

We went in, very excited, for our 20 week ultrasound on November 6, eager to find out the gender of our baby. We've been very excited about our growing little one and we had very much enjoyed our previous ultrasounds.

When the ultrasound began, the sonographer told us that the baby was curled up in a little ball deep down in my pelvis, so it would be hard to see anything. She took the few measurements she could and told us that the baby was measuring too small, about 3-4 weeks behind. She got the doctor and they looked at our previous ultrasounds to see if it was just that my due date was wrong. The other ultrasounds appeared to measure correctly for my due date, so they told us that it was likely that the baby had a chromosome disorder.

They suggested that we do an amniocentesis and a lot of bloodwork to determine what was wrong. At first, we did not want the amnio performed. It was a risky procedure-- about a 1 in 500 chance that it could cause a miscarriage. As they were taking my blood, we decided that we would go ahead and have the procedure done because it seemed that we would need to do it eventually to find out what was wrong. So we had it done. We went home very upset, hoping that nothing was really wrong with our little one.

The next day we got some of the first results from the amnio. They called us in to see the doctor. She told us that the baby had 69, XXY (triploidy), which means that the baby has 3 of every chromosome, instead of two. The most likely cause of this disorder is that the egg was fertilized by two sperm instead of one. She informed us that this is a lethal disorder and that we had the option to terminate or wait for his heart to stop. When his heart stopped on its own, my body may recognize it and go into pre-term labor. If my body didn't recognize it right away, we would discover that his heart had stopped at a doctor visit and would induce labor. It sounds more likely that my body will not quickly recognize that his heart has stopped, and I will most likely have to be induced.

The labor would be just like the labor with a full-term baby, and it will likely be very long because my uterus is not ready for this process. Most triploid babies are miscarried early in the first trimester. Our doctor has never actually seen one that has carried this far. She told us that she would be surprised if he lived to 24 weeks. She also informed us that this is a random event, and it doesn't mean that it will happen again in future pregnancies.

Of course, we are heartbroken over the news of our little one's disorder. We have been praying that God will fully heal our baby, but we want His will to be done either way. The elders at our church came and prayed over our family the weekend we heard the news.